Fuck, our intern is useless

09-07-18_10-05-14 AM

Jayden closed his fortnite tab and looked at the experiment briefly. He was puzzled to see Mindy screaming at Otis so violently. Then, he noticed the abnormal growth on Otis’s abdomen.

“Broo, he’s got a feckin tumour”, Jayden whispered to himself in disbelief. He walked to the doorway of his office and called for his supervisor, “Oi mate, your sim bloke’s dying”.

The scientists brought up the simulation on their main office computer. A few keystrokes told them all they needed to know, something was faulty in the simulation and Otis Farmer had fallen pregnant instead of Plebeian Mindy.

08-15-18_1-45-14 PM

The first thing they did was pause the simulation, so that no time could lapse whilst they attempted to solve the issue.

“What are we going to do?” asked Grant.

“We can’t control Mindy – we have no say in how she reacts, directly. What we can do is control how everybody around her acts. Hopefully they can convince her nothing is amiss”, explained Elizabeth.

08-15-18_1-45-59 PM

“We need Mindy to procreate so we can study her children – the worst possible scenario is that Otis commits suicide and we lose the child, we need to reprogram him to think this is normal”.

Elizabeth also programmed the other NPCs to stay far from Mindy’s household. Finally, she hit the play button on the simulation so that time for Plebeian Mindy could continue as normal.

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